There's a thin line between genius and insanity,
but I was never one to color within the lines.

Won't you be my neighbor?

back to me

Last Will and Testament

Never knowing the year, month, nor second of one's exit from this earth, it is not a maddening precaution to assure one's last words are prepared for such a time.

Time for future endeavors is lengthened by such preparations. While one is still living, perhaps their remaining days may be more successfully fulfilled when one is consciously aware of priorities.

First: a declaration of life.

This is not life. This is death, or the closest I will ever come to it. After I leave, I am entering Life. It is Life because Life should not end. People are mistaken to think that Life ends and Death is our eternity. My death is temporary and my Life is enduring. This is death because the part of me which is truly me has not been awakened.

My soul is here, yet I have not fully recognized it. I concentrate more on my mental and physical self. But that is not the part of me which lasts forever. When I live in my mortal shell, I am in death.

Second: meaning of life

Material possessions fade, are lost, broken, stolen and are of this earth. Everything of this earth is not worth seeking after. Homes for which we work whole lifetimes to acquire are gone in seconds. On judgment day, as we prepare to show our life's worth or toil, the earth and everything in it will be gone. GPA's will mean nothing and the stains on our names the brothels bring will prosper us none.

To be asked to present one achievements of a lifetime, where will we look? The earth will be gone. Our cars, businesses, banks, and computers will no longer exists. So what shall we hold before Him?

Nothing. Beside me, I should be honored if my brother in Christ stood and declared himself to be my life's work. Another member in the family of the Church. One with whom I studied in the Word and one that I cared for on earth.

If I have nothing else, I own my happiness. To have left earth without any regrets or possessions holding me back. To eagerly approach the throne of God with my whole self pulling and urging me forward.

I will no longer claim physical beauty or mental quickness as assets, because in heaven we are all beautiful and orient our minds to praising Him. I hold my uniqueness in the ones I loved. My soul will make me different. It will remember the way I lived life. If I failed to see the inner beauty of my friends, we were never really friends and I shall not know them in Heaven.

Why should I waste my time here worrying?

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap pr store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
Matthew 6:25-27

Jeremiah 1:8 (English-NIV)
Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD

Cast all your anxiety on him [God] because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7

Just be happy.

Psalms 118:24 (English-NIV)
This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Ecclesiastes 3:12, 13

I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.

That everyone may eat, drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil- this is the gift of God.

Third: what I leave as inheritance

What I leave is to everyone. Those I know and those I never knew may share in it. The only thing I can think of that would be of any use is what I have learned.

Be happy. Why not? People will like you better and you'll have more fun that way. Don't let your happiness be dependent on anything temporary: boy/girlfriends, money, your hometown, etc. Let it be dependent on God who is in you so that you may be happy anywhere you are and anywhere you go. Love God. Part of this is trusting Him. And trying. Everyday, test yourself on this; leave something up to Him- a hurt, a decision, a worry…pray about it and see how He comes through in the end. Don't be so self-conscious. It's your body. It's beautiful because God made you. You weren't a mistake. He didn't make bazillions of wonderful people and then, whoops! One person didn't quite come out right. And it's functional. It gets things done and its yours. When you worry about what other people think you make them your god. You give them power over you as you let them control your reactions. Fear is Worthless. If anything it will harm you. It'll keep you from a lot of things you might really enjoy and it can inhibit you from doing God's will. Yeah, Moses was a little freaked by walking through dry land with the Red Sea hovering miles high on either side, but he didn't let that fear stop him. We can't never be afraid, but we can not give it power over us.


I'm not really gone. I'll see you later. So, for now, just have fun and be happy. It can only get better.

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