There's a thin line between genius and insanity,
but I was never one to color within the lines.
blogging since 1999


karen blogovich



January 31, 2001
Lordy, Lordy, look who's 40!!

This phrase will NOT leave my head!! Over and over for the past two days...

Anyway, I've been thinking of taking my site down or moving. Now that I think about it, anyone could be reading my journal. This would include ex-boyfriends and psycho killers. I've thought about changing my site so that I don't put up a lot of personal info and pics so that stalkers will have a hard time finding me. I've already started by having only one pic of me up here. I don't know if I could handle not having a site at all...

Lordy, Lordy, look who's 40!!

Anyway, the commuting thing is getting old. I'm tired of the smelly buses. How can people not shower for so long that their genitals stink up the entire bus? And can't those drunks wait until they've gotten off to pull out their liqour? Yesterday, I had to ride all the way downtown with my jacket covering my nose. This one man, sitting a seat away, actually smelled like cat urine. I also hate people who chew tobacco. It's pretty nasty to see their spit all over the place, but when I see them spit into their bottles, it makes me want to vomit. That is the nastiest habit ever. I don't see it quite as much since I've left VA, though.

Once I got home, I didn't do much other than sleep. Even when Chris came over, I snuggled into him and fell asleep as he watched some tv show. When I woke up, my clothes smelled like his cologne. I should have done my homework. I should have studied for today's midterm. But the past week or so I can't seem to do much besides sleep. Blame it on the weather.
Blame it on the rain....(Eeeeek! Milli Vanilli)

I want to work on a new layout. One with less images. Working on macs so much, I've noticed that it sometimes takes forever to load. I'll have to wait a bit, though. At least a week. Oh well. I'm going to do that homework now. It's only 9am so I've got an hour and a half til class. Tonight we're having Bible Study. That's always fun.

January 30, 2001
Had the weirdest, longest dream last night. Someone I had never ever met before was in my dream. I don't even know the person, but I've recently begun regularly reading his journal. Maybe I'm spending too much time on here.

The only other thing I have to do is homework, though. Work hasn't gotten busy yet and the guy next to me is cursing while scratching himself. He smells like left overs.

I'm currently considering becoming a vegetarian- and probably a vegan, although not by choice. A primary cause of deforestation of the world's rain forests is meat consumpiton. And no one affords meat like the U.S. I wouldn't have such a problem if these cattle grazers would replant when they left. There are these trees I read about yesterday that grow up to 24ft in their first year. They draw up nutrients from the ground making it fertile again and the more you cut them, the faster they grow back. If people could replce the land with these trees, we wouldn't be in such a mess. But, oh well. I can at least lower my own intake. When I think about it, the meat I don't eat will just go on sale or be thrown out at the grocery store. Overall demand by food orderers themselves will have to lower. Perhaps meat consumption in general will gradually decrease. Ah well, I started by ordering the vegetable plate at Cracker Barrel last night. Mashed potatos, corn, hashbrowns, fried apples, and two sides of fried okra. Mmmmmmmm.

I'm kind of thinking about starting to excercise, too. I was watching WWF last night cause Chris hasn't watched it in 5 months. (i figured we'd watch it together since we've been watching my sitcoms for those 5 months.) And there was this really, really buff girl. She was wearing tight leather and she looked like those G.I. Joes you could buy as a kid. The ones that were so muscular, their legs bowled out. It wasn't muscular in a gross way, and not even in a Chyna way. It was a nice built. So I've decided to maybe buff up like her. Yes, I know it'll be a lot of work, but I might be up to it.

And now that the guy I'm working with is listening to disco N*Sync, I must go and cut my ears off.

I should prolly do that homework, too.

January 29, 2001
One thing I hate about fleece is its ability to attract hair from a 10 foot radius. Long hair, short hair, human hair, cat hair...I look like a dork with so much hair hanging off of my clothes!! I take breaks every hour or so just to pick them off.

I hate feeling dirty, and seeing hair everywhere makes me feel unclean. Yuck. 8:02am and I already want to reshower,

42 schools in the area are closed or on two hour delay this morning. But when you have 55,000 students like my school, you never get to miss school. They have enough students that they can handle loosing a few on the commute in. That sucks. Winter was only fun up until college, then it worked against you.

Oh well, I didn't do any homework over the weekend, so I've got catching up to do before class.

I went to this design school website and took a questionaire.
Based on your responses you have a desire to create clothing to fulfill your artistic and designing interests. You have unique ideas and would enjoy a career, which allows you to express yourself, make a statement, and know people are enjoying your clothes. A successful designer wants and needs creative control.

Skills in sketching, clothing production, fabric and trend analysis are very important. Because you are a visual idea person and enjoy working with your hands, you should explore fashion design as an excellent career choice.

Want to know more? Click here for a detailed list of Fashion Design careers which includes job descriptions and skill sets. For more information on FIDM's Fashion Design major go to College Majors, section 4.

Whoo-hoo!! The high-paced life style scares me, though. I read an article in Cosmo about this makeup artist in her 20's that suffered a heart attack from all her stress. And as rare as that is, I'm getting paranoid that will happen to me. I guess I need to realize that this is my own fear making up excuses. We talked about this in church one day. The fear to succeed. Like, that I fear not being able to live up to it; that I'll find out I actually suck; that I won't want to deal with the responsiblity. And when I think about it- yes, I am very afraid of all these things. And I let that put doubts into my mind. Like, maybe God wasn't really telling me to design after all...

January 28, 2001
Superbowl Sunday. That means we'll be lucky to have anyone at all in the museum today. I think I'll have my work done in another 45 min. I still have 6 hours or so till I go home, though. Ah well, it'll give me time to work on studying for midterms this weeks.

I had the worst headache yesterday and it just went away and hour ago. I woke up like 5 times during the night because of it. I took some night-time alka seltzer and that finally helped me. Of course, now, I'm finding it hard to stay alert and I probably shouldn't be driving...

Had a weird dream. I've only seen 1/2 of Angela's Ashes, but the main family was in my dream. There was this man who went to their house and was looking around at how poor they were. He said he had a job opening then said, "What the heck, I'll employ your whole family at the pocket-watch factory." The little boys were a little confused and didn't think they were that poor. After the first day at work, everyone has returned home to a nice suburban neighborhood as I am outside weeding my garden. They are all wondering where the guy is to pay them for their work. Then, a really expensive car speds out of the neighborhood and Elizabeth Hurley is in the passanger seat. I get mad cause I know it's that man who doesn't even care about the people. So I follow them (by flying) and make it to his house before him. I jump onto the roof and climb in a windown. Once inside, I barely have time to go into the closet before they comes in to the bedroom to have sex. And that's about all I remember. Then it was 4am and my head was pounding.

I feel so gooooood. Like nothing's real and nothing matters. It's the medicine. La, la, la, la.....

Hello. It's me.

Such a lazy-daisy day. I'm gonna check e-mail then maybe come back in a bit.

January 27, 2001
My brother has once again proved himself the biggest jerk on earth. I feel sorry for his wife.

Anyway, I'm without any kind of supervision here at work today, so my lovely boss left plenty of work for me. Yippee. I've already done about half, and I have all day tomorrow to finish it; so I decided to update a bit. My dad leaves in a couple of hours for TX to see his family and atttend the funeral of his gramdmother.

As much as it's snowed the past couple of days, people are still coming to visit the museum. Hello, people- you should be at home with your families enjoying the nice landscape. Not coming in to the museum so that I have to work! I have been here since 9am and haven't been able to take a potty break! I get to leave in 2 1/2 hours, though. I'll look foward to that.

Broke my budget again. Jo-Ann's had the most gorgeous fabric! I bought this awesome pink, glittery snake-skin material yesterday that I want to make a dress out of. I also got some red, zebra couderoy and a few other things. I had only intended on buying extra fabric for my grandmother's quilt, but couldn't resist the sales. I can't wait to finish her quilt. She does all of hers ALL BY HAND. I want to make her one so that she can brag to all her old lady friends who don't have grandaughters that quilt.

Every inch of my body is sore today. Especially my arms. I tried to crumple up a piece of paper earlier today and couldn't do it because my arms hurt so much! My back hurts, too. Most of the pain comes from me showing off yesterday. My manager recommended two boxes, but I assured him I could take 4. I looked like a doofus once I had all the boxes loaded on the dolly. I was huffing and puffing so hard everyone stared. Plus, it was below freezing outside so my nose was running a bunch. And most of my walk was uphill.

Oh well. I prolly needed the excercise.

January 26, 2001
My uncle called last night around 11:45pm because my dad's grandma died 10 min. earlier. One generation closer. It feels like falling behind, and I can't run fast enough. And death keeps getting closer.

Anyway, my sister rocks! (not the brat, the other one) She sent us two boxes and they came in yesterday with candy from Belgium, France, and Germany. She sent bottles and all of our Christmas presents, too. She gave me a ton of stuff then I felt bad for only having sent her one or two things. Oops. She sent cd's, clothes, a poster, a sign, jewelry, some more stuff, and a toy that looks just like my cat; it even has a part of its ear missing!! (My cat gets in a lot of fights and has lost pieces of his ears throughout the years.) She also sent this weird little package which looks like 500 euro but is filled with vodka or something. She also had the nerve to send some of the gifts in a huge Heiniken box.

My family is planning on going to Europe this summer to see her and I think we're also going to Mexico to see some relatives. I hope my school schedule lets me off long enough to go. I also hope everyone at Discover drops dead.

Um, I'm gonna have some breakfast prolly. Work isn't gonna be too bad, not too busy yet. Plus, I need to read my new Cosmo.

Not too much has happened. I can't write much cause I just hauled 4 boxes of paper that weighed more than me. My arms feel weird; like they're numb and heavy. Anyway, Chris had to miss school today cause his truck is kaputz. The women's bathroom here smelled oddly of beef strew and I almost threw up as I began wondering what exactly makes a bathroom smell like beef stew. I made banners and just tried to tidy up a bit today.

January 25, 2001
Last night was fabulous. Emily brought over her waffle thing and made us all apple waffles. The guys talked about knee surgery and the girls talked about school and life in general. We learned about another parable. I wish I could tell you which one it was (i read it aloud, afterall) but I can't remember it! Afterward, Emily and Jenny stayed and we all talked until Chris came home from work. We told out funnie stories. Like about the birds pooping on my head, having to pee in a box or about Emily's run-in with the sheriff at 3am. It was a really fun night. I didn't feel at all tired like I usually do at 10pm on a day when I wake up at 5:30am. I think it's cause I showered right before and it was like morning for me. I love showering at night. I go to bed feeling clean rather than dirtied by the day's events. It also means I can sleep later the next day. I didn't have to get up til 5:45am! Go, me!!

So my hair is curly today. Cute, but if I touch it, it'll turn into a frizzy mass. So I'm trying to just let it do it's own thing for now.

Anyway, I think I've finally figured this out: Spring 2002- graduate with Spanish major and textile minor.

Autumn 2002- attend design school for 2nd bachelor or attain Spanish master.

Summer 2003- if design school, will graduate. If masters, still in school. Once graduated from design school, go to Paris, France for Summer seminar.

And somewhere between Summer 2002 and Summer 2003, get hitched.

So how's that for a plan? I came up with it during Sociology yesterday.

Well, if I didn't have homework or a test this morning, I'd write more. But I'll be back later on during my second shift today.

Have a fabulous day!

Just remembered the parable. It was about forgiving debts. How a master forgave his servant of a 20 million dollar debt and then that servant went out and had a fellow servant thrown in jail for a $20 debt. The master called this servant and was like, you moron, i forgave you of a larger debt, so should you forgive your fellow man. Also, I'm going to start working on the church's web page!! It is SO out of date right now and has "under construction" all over it. Know what one of my pet peeves is? Web pages that are eternally under construction!! Like, get the format, then you can add stuff! So they're discussing letting me mess around with that and taking on the majority of the "web master" stuff.

January 24, 2001
This is such an amazing feeling! I don't think I've ever experienced a morning of such freedom. I spent a few hours last night doing all my homework. I also did some extra credit. And now, I am free to do anything I want! No scrambling to finish assignments just minuetes before class. It's very unreal to me. I've spent the past couple of hours moving in some more pages and fixing others so they're viewable in Netscape. I'm actually pretty excited about going to class today.

All this free time was made possible because I only spent a few hours with Chris last night. He fell asleep to the Simpsons, leaving me time to do school work. The time we did spend together, though, was pretty icky. We "discussed" for quite a while. At home, at Walmart, in their parking lot, and then in our drive way. Once we got inside, we then discussed a bit more and came to a cheap conclusion. We agreed to pretend that the discussion never happened and we'd go back to being as we were before. I'm still upset with my dad, though, who I blame as the cause for all this confusion. He doesn't know it yet, but I may tell him what our talk the other day has initiated.

I guess this is the drawback from dating someone so young. I get a best friend, a cutie, and someone I can't marry til I'm practically mesopausal and stricken with osteoporosis. Now, where's the fun in being married once you're that old? I can't stand the idea of being old. I don't ever wanna reach 30. That's why I have to have all my fun now, while I'm still at the perfect age.

Que será, será.

Well, I suppose I could just look at the fact that we're both adults. I really don't need my daddy making decisions for me and I'll get married when I feel like it. Besides, if we did get married Chris would be older that my dad, my brother and my uncle when they got married. Plus, he'd be older than all of my cousins were when they had kids. So far, I think I hold the record for going the longest without getting married or having kids. GO Me!!

Ah, well. I've been conditioned to be a career woman. I must learn to make working the love of my life, I suppose. You know, so I can somehow make up for all the things my parents wish they'd done differently.

If I ever get around to having kids (maybe when I'm 37) I'm letting them live their own lives, not the one my parents denied me.

How depressing, let me end on a better note. Sarah came home yesterday and is doing very well. She smells like a Band-Aid, though. I guess it's some kind of antiseptic they use.

January 23, 2001
It's weird the way your mind turns the day's events into dreams. I dreamt that I was at work in one of the labs. And, in the place where there once was a PC, there was this cute, little, brown monkey. But it looked more like a giant gerbil. The monkey was sitting up and someone from Software was there to look at the monkey. We had just switched operations from based on the net, to based through the monkey. If you needed to check your schedule, or write a problem reportm you had to rub the corresponding nipple on the monkey. Because the system was new, the monkey wasn't used to the work load it was receiving. And that guy was there to check the monkey out. The monkey was just tired, so Software patted its head, scratched behind its ear, then left.

Weird? Last night my parents and I went to the vet's to see Sarah, my sis's cat. Because it was a bladder operation, they had to shave her stomach. I remmeber wondering how they got such a close shave when cats have, like, six nipples. And thus, the monkey dream. Anyway, Sarah is fine and was drugged up when we saw her. She's staying there for a day for observation. They wanna make sure she can go pee pee ok.

I also ran the idea of marriage past my dad last night. Bad idea. Not that he objcted, but basically, he won't approve til I'm 26 or 27. Screw that. I'm not waiting that long to get married. That's too old. I think a lot of it had to do with Chris's age. When I'm that old, he'll be 22 or 23. The youngest age my dad thinks a guy can get married. Even though he was 21 and my bro was 20. By the time I'm that old, I'll be too involved with my career and unwilling to invite anything else that time consuming into my busy schedule. It makes me mad that he said that. I think it's my decision and I didn't ask him when I should. I told him when I would. He's such a butt-monkeee.

January 22, 2001
Today Sarah goes under the vet's scalpal. It doesn't seem like such a difficult procedure, I remember opening my pig but don't think I ever found her bladder. I found her gall bladder, though. I'm sure pig anatomy is nothing like a cat's, though.

For anyone not in college yet, lemme warn you about a trend on large campuses. Your school will receive money to allow vendors on campus. A solicitor on every corner.

And what do you, the student, get in return? A lifetime of debt and bad credit. Most of the time, they don't even tell you what you're signing up for!!

"Free, free, free! All you have to do is fill out this form!" When you ask them what it's for, they're awfully vague. And they get credit for every person who signs up. If you already have a card with them, they say, "Oh, go ahead and fill it out and I'll give you a free item anyway. The worst they can do is reject you cause you already have one."

This is NOT the worst that can happen. Every time you're rejected for a card, that's a mark AGAINST you on your credit history, That will be there for the next 5 years.

This is an institution of learning. Not a strip mall. If I had my way, I would ban these horrible people. Plus, I swear, even if you think you can make the payments or pay it off each month, something always happens. You purchase something you don't have the money for. On a slow month, you don't have the minimum payment made. A very small percentage of people don't get in debt from credit cards. Please, please, please do not get a credit card. You end up paying more for the original item than you thought you would. I'm STILL paying on a $500 cash advance from two years ago. Without the interst, I would have paid it off a long time ago, but that's how they make their money. And it wasn't a frivilous purchase. I needed it for tuition, Just because you can justify the reason, doesn't mean you'll make the payment. This happens with young people and middle aged people. It has nothing to do with individual stupidity but with the evil credit card companies.

In the words of the Waterboy's mother, and mine:
Creidt cards are the devil!!

parte dos

Yes, I overdosed on Advil, and I'd do it again, darn it!

I think ovaries suck. I may not even have children. How completely useless. You know, my heart could be stocking up on essential vitamins and minerals right now if my stupid reproductive system wasn't hogging them all up.

Plus, I'm sure my uterus takes up a lot of room, and my intestines wouldn't be so crowded anymore.

I'm contemplating skipping class to work an extra shift, It'd be, like, 10 extra bucks. I've been a good girl so far this quarter, but I'm afraid this would send me on a downward spiral. Skipping has been a poblem every quarter but this one so far. I must stay strong....

Can you tell I'm bored? I was talking about my ovaries, for goodness sake.

Well, just found out my page looks crappy in netscape on a mac. So I'll have to fix that sometime soon.

I still don't know what I'm gonna do for V-day. I think I'm gonna plan the entire day. Since the day before is Chris and mine's 1yr 6mo. anniversary, it should involve lots of that mushy crap. You know, flowers and junk. The only prob is, I might be PMSing that day and I'd hate to run around the house armed with thorny roses. What would my neighbors think?

January 21, 2001
I found some tamales in the freezer that my grandmother had brought a long time ago. They were so good I had to eat 4. Now I have a weird aftertaste of corn.

I logged in today to see if I had any new mail. There was one reply in particular that I was looking for. Some complete stranger e-mailed me yesterday only to insult me. It bothered me and I felt a pain in my chest for the next hour or so after reading it. I felt depressed and stupid.
But I'm over that today. Today I would just like to hurt her. I've already got a few ideas, but I'm waiting to see if she replies.

I hate when people have criticism and it's not construstive. When they only e-mail to say you're a b*tch and they don't even know you. I would like to harm those people. Like when that lady yelled at my mom in a parking lot cause she was too impatient to wait. It was completely senseless.

I'm a little angry right now. Hotmail isn't working and I'm waiting for a million people to say what's up. It hasn't even been 24 hours since I last checked it, but I just know there's something waiting for me.

I should probably clean my room. I'll be in a lab by 7:45am tomorrow to check my e-mail anyway. I think Chris will be over soon, too. Ok, have a wonderful week everyone. And stop senseless acts of hate! >=(

Make web pages, not war!

January 20, 2001
Chris and I went to see his sister's game last night, but she was only put in for 2 minutes. I hate sports.

I had checked out some foreign films from the Library for extra credit in spanish and got Rosemary's Baby just for the heck of it cause I've also been curious about that movie. Anyway, Chris and I got to the part where this girl jumped out of a window (about 15 min into the movie) and I was already hiding underneath a quilt yelling at him to turn it off.
Yes, I'm a first-class wuss.

It was late at night and I didn't want to see some movie with satan in it right before I go upstairs in the dark to sleep.

He also made me dinner last night. Tuna Helper. I had to help him and it ended up having cheese clumps from the sauce. Yuck! We still ate it though and then I had the rest for breakfast.

Last night I also got in trouble for telling my sister about her cat. Apparently, it was a secret that she was having surgery. I broke it to her nicely, though and it really is no big deal. Afterward, she will be sore for a couple of days, but she will be in less pain than she was before. Remember how she's always peeing all the time? Turns out she's got one huge stone. I think it's in her bladder. And it would be impossible to pee out.

Other than that, not too much is going on. Other than so many people I used to know in highschool and my other college getting in contact with me this week. People I haven't seen in years are just e-mailing and calling to see what's up!

Ok. I'd better go before my boss finds something for me to do. I need to pay off a credit card online, too.

Never get a credit card. I mean it. I pray for the day I can pay them off and cancel them.

January 19, 2001
I was mean last night. Very mean. I yelled at Chris and threw something at his head. I hadn't meant to be such a dork, but I was post-PMSing. You may not think such a thing exists- but Chris and I assure you it does. I haven't looked into getting something to take care of that. I have to get new insurance first.

Apart from being the world's biggest goober last night, I talked to my roommate from Freshman year!! Yea! She's so cool. She's just like me in some ways, but we're totally different.
Aren't I making sense? The way I think Jenny McCarthy and I are the same. Although my body may be the 11 yr old version of hers (a sad fact) we're mentally alike.

And how do I know this? Well, I never met her, but I read her biography. It was $0.50 at the half price store. She seems so nice and really smart. And you know what, if I looked like that, I prolly wouldn't be wearing these baggy couderoys and turtleneck sweater. Or maybe I would. Anyway, I really related to a lot of the stuff she said in her book.

Now, here's a bit of bad news. Tomorrow, Anthony leaves for SC. And I'm gonna miss him. I prolly shouldn't- he's my ex and Chris hates him; but I'm going to miss him still. I'm sad that I might not get the chance to see him today, too. Oh well, that's a long story that's pretty confusing. I should probably stop thinking about it and him. I hope he loves SC. I hope he loves the beach and finds a girl who can love him as much as I did. And I hope he loves her as much as he loved me.

I'm sad, now.

I've been doing ok in school. Work is great. Yay life.

I saw

I can't believe this happened!
***in editing, half of this month's entries were lost. below is all that could be recovered.***

January 15, 2001
It is 7:25am on what should have been a day of sleeping in. I finally found a way to make my page viewable in IE and Netscape and since I've been on campus since 6:40am, I decided to begin moving.

I'm so paranoid that Gurl will get mad at me and delete my site. I'm gonna try to back everything up this week.

January 14, 2001
I actually had to work yesterday, so no Saturday update. My dad finally fixed the comp at home so I get to update while my family's upstairs being terds.

I had a great start to my day and strangely had this lyric going through my head over and over, "I've got a Super Good Feeling, about today..." Then my day turned to crap. I'm pissed at my sister, my dad, and Big Bear. They all suck. Now it's getting better again, though. Church was cool and they sang, like, all my fave songs. We don't use hymnals but more modern songs that are put up on tv screens. Most of the songs our band writes or are from Vineyard.

Chris is being a terd right now and is whining to go out somewhere so I'll have to be back later.

Oh, I saw a Woody Allen movie last night. Crooks like us. As much as I hate him, for dating his 14 yr old stepdaughter and being an old loser, the movie was kinda funnie and lived up to all the impersenations people do of him. He did a good Woody Allen.

January 12, 2001
Today is Jungle Girl Day. I would take a picture right now, but I'm meeting Anthony after work and I wanna save the film for him. I have like one picture of him. I just don't like forgetting people and not having any pictures of them. I didn't comb my hair today and I never brush it. It might rain, so I just put in some pomade that uses the moisture in the air to curl your hair. I look funnie, but it's actually kinda cute.

Work has been so easy so far. I think everyone on campus is leaving early to go home for the weekend. Afterwards, I have to track down some books that only one store had two days ago. They've probably been bought already, but I need to check.

January 9, 2001
ow. ow. ow. ow.
I just banged that weird part of my knee on the desk. Where, it's this weirdly intense pain that is more tingly that hurting. For a second everything is in slow motion and I make this horrid face waiting for it to go away.

I found out that IE 5.0 isn't reading code the same way it used to and that's why Ican't get a decent site up. I've decided to just put up another format that im still working on, just to have something different. I'll prolly do it during my next shift since it's so loooooooooooooong.

I have such a sinus headache; I hate the midwest. 10 months a year is ridiculous!! Doesn't it ever let up?! My poor ears hurt, too. As soon as I get home I'm drugging up on Nyquil. It's the cure all. If my arm was severed, I'd go home and take Nyquil. Every hospital should be stocked silly with the stuff. And nighttime Alkaseltzer. They both makes you fall right to sleep, dead to the world. And then when you wake up, whatever was wrong with you before is magically fixed!! Whoo-hoo!!


these claims do not include exes or world terrorists

Ok, you know what? I need to do my homework now. Class starts in about an hour and I'll have just enough time to finish. Must pry away....will have time later today.....leave, I can't! But I must!! Ahhhh!

Wow, homework didn't take long at all.
I don't know if it's all the time I've spent in front of the computer, or me getting what my mom has (please no...) but I feel pretty dizzy and nauseous and I think my nose is about to bleed. My eyes feel like my brain is trying to push them out. (Isn't that a nice description?) And every time they move in their sockets, it hurts and makes me want to throw up.

I'm dressed like a goober and I can't help it. It was 10 degrees this morning and I don't like being cold. So I wore thermal underwear- or longjohns, I don't really know which is less nerdy-sounding. And I have two shirts and a wool sweater. Then my beanie, and my gloves, the scarf I wrap around my head, and this coat that has a hat. What I don't like the most is that these are men's thermal pants and they go up to my freaking ribs and so when I sit I have them sticking out of my pants and I look like I'm wearing nerdy underwear that's hitched up to my armpits. Like Erkel.

January 8, 2001

Just another manic monday!

Only 8 am and I've already had the begginings of a bad day. I got over 7 hours sleep last night and I still had a hard time waking up. I was too tired to make my lunch last night so I had to do it this morning. I was tired driving in this morning (mommy's still sick) and didn't move into the right line, so 20 minutes later I had to pass my turn up because there were too many people to merge over. I spent about 15 min. being scared on some freeway I'd never been on always mistakenly getting in a turn-only lane. Eventually I found Macaroni Street, which was vaguely familiar, and the district arena. Then the bus I needed came. I could see it a block away. It stays there for 6 lights doing nothing as I'm freezing my butt off. I got to school with enough time to walk to work. I usually take a campus bus cause they're warm, but walking was a bit quicker and I needed those extra minutes. I had no time for makeup this morning which is horrible. I never go anywhere w/o makeup. But hopefully things will be ok from here on.

Saturday, the server at work was down so no internet. =( I worked for about 2 1/2 hours and the rest of the time, I got to balance my checkbook and make out a budget for the next 4 months. It was truly a day of excitement. THen, Chris and I made stuffed bell peppers. He said next time we'll go out to eat. The Hawaiian bread was good, though.

I still haven't found the energy to combat this IE vs. Netscape thing. I had frames the other day, but the targets weren't working for the links in IE. If my sister wasn't all the way in Germany, I'd make her fix it. I miss her...

Parte Dos

Back to the drawing board. Taking away that other version.

January 5, 2001
I worked all morning coming up with the perfect new layout, but I can't get it to come up right on both IE and Netscape. I hate the stupid differences between the two brwosers that make this so hard. I'm seriously considering just having two pages. One for people using IE, and the other for Netscape users. This would make a lot more work for me when I update, though.

My mommy's sick. She was puking a whole bunch yesterday. From what I hear, like, everyone in the State has it.

I'm gonna try to fix my hair today. Because I'm really impatient, I've decided to not save up my money, but instead just use a cheaper salon. Like, the $15 a cut ones. I don't think I'd let them color my hair though. For that, I should go to my usual salon cause they kinda know what they're doing more than the other places.

I was supposed to use my money on tuition today, but my mom had to borrow $200 and I won't get it back til Monday. (If anyone is using Internet Explorer and reading this, one of the layouts I'm working with is here at If anyone's actually reading right now.)

January 4, 2001
Everyone had to work last night except for 4 people out of my bible study group. The guy that leads it just got engaged to one of the girls. We're learning about Parables. They're like giant metaphors that Jesus used.

Well, I love my classes so far. Spanish has been giving me a ton of homework, though. My Sociology teacher is really funny and seems pretty nice. The only thing we've done so far is introduce ourselves to the class, set up interviews with him (he wants to meet every one of us), and then he let us out an hour early. I like him.

Since I don't have any classes tomorrow, I'm gonna work on my new layout. I'm not too sure how frames within a table will work out, though. But I know I need to add more content and update the stuff that's been here since August.

Chris is pretty much sure that he will not move with his mom and his sister this summer. His sister goes to school in another town and his mom works at the school in that town, too. They're only here so that Chris can graduate this spring. Which leaves me with the option of moving out this summer to room with him. And here is where the tricky part comes in.

This is the classic "Living in Sin" arrangement. Yes, I know, I sound totally old fashoined. BUT- (there's always a big butt, hee-hee) I think I would be happier not living with a person before we're married and here's why:
The way I see it, if you're living together already (and you will most likely be having sex being THAT close to temptation) what's the point of getting married? What will motivate you to spend thousands of dollars just to make what you're doing somehow official?

PLUS, technically (this is what I believe, I don't really know how likely a church is to back this up) you don't need that stupid licence to be married. A thousand years ago, before the courts of the U.S. were established, don't you think people got married? Marriage is an institution of God, not man-made law. You only really need to be married in his eyes.

Also, I think marriage will be more fun and mean more if there's a difference between your dating and being married. If you're already sleeping and living togther, being married will just be an extension of dating life. And you can easily break up someone you're dating. It seems like this makes divorce an option. When the dude says, "What God has joined, let no man take apart" I'm gonna take that seriously.

Of course, I am a little tired of living at home and think it'd be fun to have my own place. And Chris is my best friend. It'd be fun. I hate decisions.

Parte Dos

It's so quiet here at work today. Makes me sleepy. It's been a good quarter so far. People are really nice. I'm far away from the law school. It's like a fresh start. That's probably why I love the first day of school so much; it's another chance to do everything, but this time to do it right.

January 3, 2001
I wrote a poem yesterday during the 4 hours I was without Internet. There was absolutely no one to talk to and I hadn't even bought my school books yet. It had started out with a line I had used earlier. I was talking to someone about the sunrise and I mentioned that here, there is no sunrise, only the moment when the sky turns a lighter shade of gray.

As I began writing it, all this stuff came out and I guess it kinda wrote itself. So it might not make sense to anyone but me.

domestic violence

The shades of grey have lightened
and another day has come
black cover of night is mourned
-violence no longer random.

NOW- the captors have faces
and we know who to run from
yet stiff body replaces
the escape to our freedom.

You keep me here with power
bound by law, we're bound by name
let me hide, let me cower
release me from this sick game!

Please stop saying I love you.
Tell me once more you love me.
Tell me you love me once more.

That's still a draft. I'm supposed to have a couplet at the end to be a true sonnet, though. I know it makes no sense, like, why would you want someone you hate to love you, but that's the way a lot of relationships work. We're talking BAD relationships. I don't know. I feel like a goober.

Gonna do a little homework for a while.

January 2, 2001
First day of school. One of my two favorite days. The other would be the last day of school. I love everything about the first day and in college, I get 4 first days every year. I love school supplies. Chris hates it when we go to Walmart cause I have to walk down the school supplies aisle. I love new notebooks and writing on the first page. I love binders and have a vast assortment at home in every color available. I like the smell of the crayons and the chalk in those little yellow Crayola boxes. I like touching the reams of paper and the bulletin boards and I wish like mad that I needed to buy one. I have enough supplies at home to never need to buy anything for the rest of my college days. Staplers and staples, boxes of pencils and pens, three bulletin boards, hoards of paper, bottles of white out, and about 5 bookbags.

I should be a teacher.

I'm pretty excited about this quarter. I'm only taking Spanish and Sociology. Work isn't too bad either. As long as I go to bed by 10:30pm, I can wake up at 5:30am without problems. The only hard part is making Chris leave my house early so that I can go to bed. I feel bad about rushing him out, but it's worse to be cranky and sleepy in the morning. That's why I didn't do so well last quarter. I skipped classes in order to sleep on a couch somewhere. I made sure that wouldn't happen again by being scheduled to be at work by 7:30am every morning. There's no way I'd ever be late to that.

My new year started out a lot like last year's. Except I was a blonde this year. In return for alterating a friend's shirt, I got a cool blonde wig. When I came home my dad though I had dyed and cut my hair. As midnight came, I was once again sitting in front of a t.v. watching Rocky Horror. Then, as Dick Clark officially announded the New Year, I felt someone smack my butt really hard. So, I took my noise maker and temporarily took their hearing from their right ear. I haven't thought about any new year's resolutions. I've never really been into that. I'll make one anyway, I guess.

New Year's Resolutions

1. Move to
2. Do all homework
3. Try to walk 3 times/week
4. Dye hair back to natural color
5. Be nice to Chris
6. Pay off Discover

There. Permanently etched on the web. So now I have to do it. Since I work 7 1/2 hours today, I'm gonna need to go. I'll be adding to today's entry 3 or 4 times, probably.

well, i guess i'll have to add tomorrow. spent the last 4 1/2 hours fiddling aroung with our server. Ah, well. Class was nice. work is nice. it's been a lovely first day. Not at ALL like last quarter's first day. I read that entry the other day and I can tell I was pissed at the time.


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