this is my personal journal and i put all sorts of stuff up and talk about whatever the hell i want to. it may be offensive, i may talk about you, you may leave.
im watching dr 90210 and this girl that had a nose job was in post op with gobs of cotton in her nostrils with a string tail for removal- they were seriously nose tampons. i had nothing better to do @8:21 PM
Thursday, January 19, 2006
i had to go to the mall today to get that security tag removed from my new jacket and couldnt help doing even more shopping.
75% off store closing sales are the best. i got a pair of gaucho pants that make my butt look amazing, boy short panties, a henna kit, and a tarot set too. the set was half off or i wouldnt have even thought about it but i was very wary about buying it. before i even opened it i prayed over it then went through the instructions and the cards. even though it was sealed there was one missing, the eight of cups. i went into the book to see which card this was and it said: key issues-turning away from the known, moving towards the unfamiliar
the eight of cups indicates that it is time to let go of something from the past. the care with which the cups have been arranged shows that much energy has been invested in a relationship or project, yet, in spite of this, its no longer working and must be left behind. there comes a time when its clear that a situation or, perhaps, a relationship has run its course and the only response is to walk away. in the image, the hooded figure doesnt look back but heads for the unknown, which is represented by the barren hills in the distance. it requires faith to abandon the familiar, but there are times when it really is the best action to take.
i think that card was missing for a reason. its abscense drew my attention to it more so than it would have by being present or appearing in a reading surrounded by many other cards.
i had nothing better to do @7:52 PM
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
i came home to bills; my gas usage for last month TRIPPLED although i never raise the thingy over 65. i then discovered i couldnt wear my new jacket cause it still had the security tag on- the kind that explode ink all over you, and i had to wait an hour to get my nails done. and i dont even know that i really like the color. im so bummed at the moment. and my green peas arent the wasabi kind. =(
oh, and im seriously thinking of getting my boobies done. i even found the guy i want to do it. i figure i will save the money for 5 months and in june i will make the final desicion. im really excited but theres only a few days of serious thought behind this.
i had nothing better to do @8:14 PM
Sunday, January 08, 2006
all night my dreams had one unifying theme- i was hugh hefner's brunette girlfriend. we were throwing a birthday party, we were bathing my kitten, hugh wanted more pics of himself with me. my family was over for a bar-b-que, we were firing an intern.... have i discovered my inner passion? girlfriend to the playboy mogel? ha.
today is amazing solely for the fact that there is sun; i hate cloudy days and instead of making me appreciate the sunny ones more they make me loathe the whole city and draw me back into a hibernation. now if it wasnt for freezing point highs i might actually go for a walk. i think another reason im in a decent mood is that for about a week now i have kept off the 10lbs it had only taken a week to lose (the week of stomach flu). im thought the second my appetite returned i would go right back to that elevated weight of the last few months; now i have only another 10lbs to lose before im where i was right before i ballooned in what was probably a verge on a mental breakdown. i dont know why i stress myself out like that. i was even getting hives again. i eventually had a talk with myself (i talk to myself a lot) and came to the conclusion that for a permanent life change you cant expect to change everything at once! i cant start a new career, go to church everyday, adopt an excercise program, kick out the man ive been with for over 2 years, AND be alone for the first time ever ALL AT THE SAME TIME. my heart almost exploded in my chest with its shards driving themselves through my flesh. i will tackle one thing at a time and im finally convinced that God will not be mad at me for this. in true heathen fashion i will perhaps leave sexual sin for last.
i dont understand how my body can make so much snot. some area of my being must be drained right now because of this over zealous production. i know my supply of tissues and tp sure as hell is.
i had nothing better to do @12:17 PM
Saturday, January 07, 2006
i loved memoirs of a geisha and i dont care who says otherwise. i waited years for the movie to come out and i found it kept my attention the whole way through and offered a visually stimulating experience. it was very accurate as far as following the story line and very little was left out. i saw it on a date.
so i'm all alone in a great big city which sucks but im trying to like it. you know, watching all that sex and the city and shit. i'll be joining a knitting group of snazzy ladies that meets near by so hopefully i find my time is totally taken up by extracurriculars and i find no time to be lonely. unfortunately its an easy plan to put on paper, not into pratice. im just not used to not having family or a boyfriend. he wants to get back together but as much as i miss him and just being with someone, theres never a reason to be back in a bad relationship. he broke my shit, damnit! and yes, i broke some of his too, but that just shows you it was bad. and what the hell kind of living situation allows you to "accidently stab someone"? craziness.
i've been horridly unproductive and i rarely leave the couch. i sleep on it. eat on it. watch tv on it. do my hair and makeup on it. chat on it. id crap from here if i could.
